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Articles

Amartithi
  – Bruce Felknor

"You'll find Me in the garden"
  – Jenny Keating

'Heart Tires of Its Gaudy Dress' – Francis Brabazon
  – Buck Busfield

HOLLYWOOD
  – Billy Goodrum

Trust and Intimacy
  – Jenny Keating

Living with Baba
  – Bruce Felknor

When Words Fail . . . Just Use More Words
  – Buck Busfield

Suffering and Service
  – Juniper Lesnik

SPOILER ALERT
  – Billy Goodrum

The charm of His ways. . .
  – Jenny Keating

The Importance of Being Furnished
  – Bruce Felknor

It's Been Fun
  – Steve Klein

Let’s Talk about Love
  – Juniper Lesnik

Cannes
  – Billy Goodrum

In the world but not of it . . .
  – Jenny Keating

Give Me Your Imperfections
  – Wendy Connor

Children of the One God
  – Bruce Felknor

As the Poet Says
  – Steve Klein

Happy Endings
  – Jenny Keating

Thoughts on Furniture
  – Billy Goodrum

Going Home
  – Juniper Lesnik

A Tale of Two Connections
  – Bruce Felknor

The Flowering Seed
  – Wendy Connor

Baby Steps
  – Steve Klein

Patience
  – Jenny Keating

Hold On!
  – Juniper Lesnik

Waiting for the New Humanity
  – Billy Goodrum

Remembering
  – Bruce Felknor

The Beloved's Beloved
  – Wendy Connor

Compare and Contrast
  – Steve Klein

It's in the struggle . . .
  – Jenny Keating

Time
  – Juniper Lesnik

The Tipping Point
  – Billy Goodrum

Learning Poise
  – Bruce Felknor

When "Good Enough" Isn't
  – Steve Klein

Conflict and Joy
  – Jenny Keating

Sleepless in San Jose
  – Juniper Lesnik

Vacation Incarnation
  – Steve Klein

Nerve Endings of the Soul
  – Jenny Keating

"Let the World Wait"
  – Wendy Connor

Religion vs Spirituality
  – Steve Klein

The Bigger Challenge
  – Wendy Connor

Que Sera Sera
  – Steve Klein

To Be Honest
  – Juniper Lesnik

Praise and Blame
  – Steve Klein

Being Right
  – Steve Klein

To Love God is To Love Our Fellow Beings
  – Juniper Lesnik

God is Alive in the World
  – Wendy Connor

Determined to Be His
  – Steve Klein

The Stuff We're Made Of
  – Juniper Lesnik

"I Will Always Be With You": Memories of the East West Gathering
  – Wendy Connor

Half Full or Half Empty?
  – Steve Klein

Love The One You're With
  – Steve Klein

Ordinary Life
  – Juniper Lesnik

Baba Loved Us Too
  – Wendy Connor

Feeling His Love
  – Steve Klein

He is both Father and Mother
  – Juniper Lesnik

A Leap of Faith
  – Wendy Connor

Becoming His
  – Steve Klein

Don't Worry, Be Happy
  – Juniper Lesnik

A Life Worth Living
  – Wendy Connor

Love The One You're With
  – Steve Klein

What a Mighty Beloved our Beloved is
  – Wendy Connor

To thine own self be true?
  – Steve Klein

The Sweets of His Love
  – Wendy Connor

Sickness and Health
  – Juniper Lesnik

Giving Advice
  – Steve Klein

"Garlic-Faced"
  – Wendy Connor

To Love and Be Loved
  – Juniper Lesnik

Talking About The Truth
  – Steve Klein

The Script was Written Long Ago
  – Wendy Connor

Excuse Me, Which Way to God?
  – Steve Klein

Letting Go
  – Juniper Lesnik

The Mosquitoes are Bad Today
  – Wendy Connor

What If A Teaching Moment Never Comes?
  – Steve Klein

Beads On One String
  – Juniper Lesnik

Youth Sahavas '07
  – Wendy Connor

Stop, You're Both Right!
  – Steve Klein

God, Please Give me a Job
  – Juniper Lesnik

"It Just Passes More Quickly"
  – Wendy Connor

Multiple Meher Babas
  – Steve Klein

Winking Back
  – Juniper Lesnik

The Treasure Within
  – Wendy Connor

Holding On, But Losing One's Grip
  – Steve Klein

1969
  – Ann Conlon

Obedience
  – Ann Conlon

Meher Center – The Way It Was
  – Ann Conlon

Armageddon, Anyone?
  – Ann Conlon

What Does Baba Want Me to Do?
  – Ann Conlon

Baba's 'Things'
  – Ann Conlon

What Does THAT Mean?
  – Ann Conlon

The Way It Was – Meherabad
  – Ann Conlon

Doing "Baba Work"
  – Ann Conlon

Broken Heads
  – Ann Conlon

Enid
  – Ann Conlon

On Being Ill
  – Ann Conlon

Meherjee
  – Ann Conlon

To Each His Own
  – Ann Conlon

Youth Sahavas
  – Ann Conlon

Kitty
  – Ann Conlon

The Lonely Path
  – Ann Conlon

Isn't He Enough?
  – Ann Conlon

He Said What?
  – Ann Conlon

Goher
  – Ann Conlon

Taking a Dare
  – Ann Conlon

Seeking Suffering
  – Ann Conlon

Amartithi
  – Ann Conlon

Dreams
  – Ann Conlon

Margaret
  – Ann Conlon

"The Disciple"
  – Ann Conlon

I Wonder ...
  – Ann Conlon

Backbiting, etc.
  – Ann Conlon

Hearing His Name
  – Ann Conlon

Rites, Rituals and Ceremonies
  – Ann Conlon

His Promise
  – Ann Conlon

"Baba's Group"
  – Ann Conlon

Then and Now
  – Ann Conlon

Middlemen Revisited
  – Ann Conlon

Padri
  – Ann Conlon

Gateway Days
  – Ann Conlon

The New Life
  – Ann Conlon

Books, Books and More Books
  – Ann Conlon

Elizabeth Patterson
  – Ann Conlon

His "Last Warning"
  – Ann Conlon

Is That A Religion Coming?
  – Ann Conlon

Detachment
  – Ann Conlon

A Country of Our Own?
  – Ann Conlon

Manifestation: Did He Or Didn't He?
  – Ann Conlon

Remembering Mohammed
  – Ann Conlon

Advice (Sort-Of) for Newcomers
  – Ann Conlon

You're a Baba Lover If...
  – Ann Conlon

Real Happiness
  – Ann Conlon

Baba Lover, Baba Follower or Both?
  – Ann Conlon

Meherazad – The Way It Was
  – Ann Conlon

The Strongest Memories
  – Ann Conlon

All (Baba) Things Considered

Sleepless in San Jose

As the mother of a 2-year-old and a 7-month-old, I don’t get a lot of sleep. It is typical that I wake up at 11, and 3, and 5, to nurse the baby. And then at 6 am, to a toddler screaming ‘mommy, mommy, mommy,’ so that we can go eat cereal. And I am one of those people who LOVE sleep. I mean, how some of you feel about chocolate cake, that is how I feel about sleep. I crave it all day. And however much you give me, I will eat the whole thing!

So, here I am, learning to live my life sleeping hours I can count on one hand. Trying my best to find that magical shift in perspective that makes it all okay; something beyond the fact that my children are great joys in my life. That is a blessing, for sure, but it doesn’t actually do much to make the prolonged sleeplessness tolerable. So I got to wondering, what did Meher Baba say about sleep?

Before delving into any texts, I plumbed my own highly foggy brain. I know Baba said he came not to teach, but to awaken, so he must prize wakefulness, right? And to hear the mandali tell it, he often tested close ones’ obedience with superhuman demands to stay awake. But why?

In That’s How it Was, Eruch muses on the fact that while the Prophet Muhammed had a rule that you should never wake anyone, Meher Baba is known as The Awakener. Indeed, as Eruch tells it, it was true even in a literal sense. He recalls how Baba would sometimes say “Go give Peter this message.” And when the messenger would find Peter, sleeping, he would awaken him to deliver the message, which was “Peter, Baba wants you to sleep well.”

I try to think of my baby’s cries as the equivalent of Baba telling me to sleep well. But it doesn’t quite work.

Next, I remember Eruch telling the story of being on a mast tour with Baba and not sleeping for several days or nights. At one point, en route by bus, Eruch finally succumbs to his exhaustion, and nods off. He awakens to find that he has fallen asleep on Baba’s shoulder, and has left a little puddle of drool there. And what does Baba do? He gently presses Eruch’s head back down to his shoulder and says, “don’t worry, go back to sleep.” After a short amount of time, Eruch wakes up and feels completely refreshed. How is it possible? As Eruch recalls, Baba said that real deep sleep is like the original state of God. It is so completely refreshing to be there, that one can wake up revived even after very little time.

It is reassuring that despite all the stories of sleeplessness, Baba didn’t disregard sleep altogether. Tonight, I will be like a deep-sea diver, and try to reach the depths where I will be refreshed, even if I am called back to the surface too soon.

But the more I think about my sleepless state, the more I think there is a different kind of learning in it for me. Something less lofty: surrender. As someone formerly married to 9 hours a night, and convinced I could not function without it, here I am: at the whims of two little people who I completely adore and who sometimes need me to snap awake at 3, and 4, and 5. With the supports of sleep swept out from under me, I am more vulnerable, less likely to try to do it all, and more grateful for the rest I do get. And as I learn to surrender to the unknown of my nights and to rise and greet the day even when I would give almost anything for an extra hour of sleep, I am more likely to remember Him, and to lean on Him. And isn’t that the beginning of real wakefulness? And real rest?