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Articles

CCCs
  – Billy Goodrum

Amartithi
  – Bruce Felknor

"You'll find Me in the garden"
  – Jenny Keating

'Heart Tires of Its Gaudy Dress' – Francis Brabazon
  – Buck Busfield

HOLLYWOOD
  – Billy Goodrum

Trust and Intimacy
  – Jenny Keating

Living with Baba
  – Bruce Felknor

When Words Fail . . . Just Use More Words
  – Buck Busfield

Suffering and Service
  – Juniper Lesnik

SPOILER ALERT
  – Billy Goodrum

The charm of His ways. . .
  – Jenny Keating

The Importance of Being Furnished
  – Bruce Felknor

It's Been Fun
  – Steve Klein

Let’s Talk about Love
  – Juniper Lesnik

Cannes
  – Billy Goodrum

In the world but not of it . . .
  – Jenny Keating

Give Me Your Imperfections
  – Wendy Connor

Children of the One God
  – Bruce Felknor

As the Poet Says
  – Steve Klein

Happy Endings
  – Jenny Keating

Thoughts on Furniture
  – Billy Goodrum

Going Home
  – Juniper Lesnik

A Tale of Two Connections
  – Bruce Felknor

The Flowering Seed
  – Wendy Connor

Baby Steps
  – Steve Klein

Patience
  – Jenny Keating

Hold On!
  – Juniper Lesnik

Waiting for the New Humanity
  – Billy Goodrum

Remembering
  – Bruce Felknor

The Beloved's Beloved
  – Wendy Connor

Compare and Contrast
  – Steve Klein

It's in the struggle . . .
  – Jenny Keating

Time
  – Juniper Lesnik

The Tipping Point
  – Billy Goodrum

Learning Poise
  – Bruce Felknor

When "Good Enough" Isn't
  – Steve Klein

Conflict and Joy
  – Jenny Keating

Sleepless in San Jose
  – Juniper Lesnik

Vacation Incarnation
  – Steve Klein

Nerve Endings of the Soul
  – Jenny Keating

"Let the World Wait"
  – Wendy Connor

Religion vs Spirituality
  – Steve Klein

The Bigger Challenge
  – Wendy Connor

Que Sera Sera
  – Steve Klein

To Be Honest
  – Juniper Lesnik

Praise and Blame
  – Steve Klein

Being Right
  – Steve Klein

To Love God is To Love Our Fellow Beings
  – Juniper Lesnik

God is Alive in the World
  – Wendy Connor

Determined to Be His
  – Steve Klein

The Stuff We're Made Of
  – Juniper Lesnik

"I Will Always Be With You": Memories of the East West Gathering
  – Wendy Connor

Half Full or Half Empty?
  – Steve Klein

Love The One You're With
  – Steve Klein

Ordinary Life
  – Juniper Lesnik

Baba Loved Us Too
  – Wendy Connor

Feeling His Love
  – Steve Klein

He is both Father and Mother
  – Juniper Lesnik

A Leap of Faith
  – Wendy Connor

Becoming His
  – Steve Klein

Don't Worry, Be Happy
  – Juniper Lesnik

A Life Worth Living
  – Wendy Connor

Love The One You're With
  – Steve Klein

What a Mighty Beloved our Beloved is
  – Wendy Connor

To thine own self be true?
  – Steve Klein

The Sweets of His Love
  – Wendy Connor

Sickness and Health
  – Juniper Lesnik

Giving Advice
  – Steve Klein

"Garlic-Faced"
  – Wendy Connor

To Love and Be Loved
  – Juniper Lesnik

Talking About The Truth
  – Steve Klein

The Script was Written Long Ago
  – Wendy Connor

Excuse Me, Which Way to God?
  – Steve Klein

Letting Go
  – Juniper Lesnik

The Mosquitoes are Bad Today
  – Wendy Connor

What If A Teaching Moment Never Comes?
  – Steve Klein

Beads On One String
  – Juniper Lesnik

Youth Sahavas '07
  – Wendy Connor

Stop, You're Both Right!
  – Steve Klein

God, Please Give me a Job
  – Juniper Lesnik

"It Just Passes More Quickly"
  – Wendy Connor

Multiple Meher Babas
  – Steve Klein

Winking Back
  – Juniper Lesnik

The Treasure Within
  – Wendy Connor

Holding On, But Losing One's Grip
  – Steve Klein

1969
  – Ann Conlon

Obedience
  – Ann Conlon

Meher Center – The Way It Was
  – Ann Conlon

Armageddon, Anyone?
  – Ann Conlon

What Does Baba Want Me to Do?
  – Ann Conlon

Baba's 'Things'
  – Ann Conlon

What Does THAT Mean?
  – Ann Conlon

The Way It Was – Meherabad
  – Ann Conlon

Broken Heads
  – Ann Conlon

Doing "Baba Work"
  – Ann Conlon

On Being Ill
  – Ann Conlon

Enid
  – Ann Conlon

To Each His Own
  – Ann Conlon

Meherjee
  – Ann Conlon

Youth Sahavas
  – Ann Conlon

Kitty
  – Ann Conlon

The Lonely Path
  – Ann Conlon

Isn't He Enough?
  – Ann Conlon

He Said What?
  – Ann Conlon

Goher
  – Ann Conlon

Taking a Dare
  – Ann Conlon

Seeking Suffering
  – Ann Conlon

Dreams
  – Ann Conlon

Amartithi
  – Ann Conlon

Margaret
  – Ann Conlon

"The Disciple"
  – Ann Conlon

I Wonder ...
  – Ann Conlon

Backbiting, etc.
  – Ann Conlon

Hearing His Name
  – Ann Conlon

Rites, Rituals and Ceremonies
  – Ann Conlon

"Baba's Group"
  – Ann Conlon

His Promise
  – Ann Conlon

Then and Now
  – Ann Conlon

Middlemen Revisited
  – Ann Conlon

Padri
  – Ann Conlon

Gateway Days
  – Ann Conlon

The New Life
  – Ann Conlon

Books, Books and More Books
  – Ann Conlon

Elizabeth Patterson
  – Ann Conlon

His "Last Warning"
  – Ann Conlon

Detachment
  – Ann Conlon

Is That A Religion Coming?
  – Ann Conlon

Manifestation: Did He Or Didn't He?
  – Ann Conlon

A Country of Our Own?
  – Ann Conlon

Remembering Mohammed
  – Ann Conlon

Advice (Sort-Of) for Newcomers
  – Ann Conlon

You're a Baba Lover If...
  – Ann Conlon

Real Happiness
  – Ann Conlon

Baba Lover, Baba Follower or Both?
  – Ann Conlon

Meherazad – The Way It Was
  – Ann Conlon

The Strongest Memories
  – Ann Conlon

All (Baba) Things Considered

A Leap of Faith

One of my favorite quotes of Baba's is: I speak eternally. The voice that is heard deep within the soul is my voice, the voice of inspiration, of intuition, of guidance. Through those who are receptive to this voice, I speak. (Lord Meher, p. 6533)

This naturally leads to one of those enduring questions in life with Baba: "When struggling to make a decision, how do I know if the voice I hear within is Baba's voice, the voice of the intuition, or the voice of my ego? How do I know if I'm making the right decision or the wrong decision?" When I'm asked a question like that, I naturally search the storehouse of my memories for nuggets of wisdom gleaned from those far wiser than I. One such nugget that I have turned to often in my own life is from a story Kitty once shared with me.

When I was living with Elizabeth and Kitty at their house, Dilruba, at Meher Center in 1974, one of my most delightful tasks was helping Kitty answer the mail. In the later years, getting the mail was one of the highlights of Kitty's day. Everyday, around noon, she would watch to see if the postman had come. She couldn't really see the mailbox from her office but she could see him drive by in his little white truck. Her custom was to send me out to fetch it - "it" was usually a huge stack of letters from all over the country - bring it back to her, and leave her alone to read through it. When she was ready, she would call out for me to come and have me read certain letters out loud. Then, with pencil and paper in hand, I would take down the points Kitty wanted to include in her reply. The funny thing was that the letters literally consisted of points: Point #1, Point #2, and so on. Mani often remarked how the women always looked forward to Kitty's wonderful point letters - one letter even had up to 23 points!

One day, Kitty had me read her a long letter covering three legal size pages, front and back. It was from a couple having a terrible time making a decision about whether to buy a condo or a house. Now, while I'm reading this, I'm feeling very critical and having thoughts like, 'Oh, come on, three legal size pages!? How could they burden Kitty like this?' When I finished reading, to my surprise, without any discussion and with an uncharacteristically serious manner Kitty said, "Now take this down. Point #1, Baba loved challenges, obstacles; it is His way of working. Point #2" and then she began to recount a memory of something that happened on Meherabad Hill in the '30's. It was a story I had never heard before.

To paraphrase Kitty, one day the women were gathered outside in the compound on the Hill and they were arguing about something (Kitty didn't remember what). One group was saying, "Yes, that's the right decision!" and the other group was saying, "No, that's the wrong decision!" And so it went back and forth. Suddenly, Baba strode into the compound and was clearly not happy with the group. He spelled out on His board: What are you doing?! Don't you know I made the decision long ago? The decision is not in your hands. There is no right or wrong decision. There is no such thing as a mistake. All I care about is the motive behind the decision - is it for Me or is it for yourself?"

That story was a lovely gift, not only for the real estate challenged couple, but for me as well. In my experience, the hardest part of the struggle is letting go of the results once I've made the decision. There is that space between doing my best and leaving the rest to Him that presents the biggest challenge. That's the space where trust has to live and breathe. To totally trust that Baba has already made the decision and that I have no control over the outcome - that I can only be vigilant about my motive and act in a manner pleasing to Him.

The answer to the question of how to know if my inner promptings are the voice of intuition or of the ego is, of course, I don't always know. Often times, it simply isn't possible to have absolute inner clarity. Rather, my inner voice has the all too familiar feeling of persuasive self-focus so characteristic of the ego. Happily, there are times when the inner promptings of the heart are unequivocal and crystal clear. Often I find what is happening within is an admixture of these two extremes. This is where trust comes in again for me. Here I feel Baba wants me to gradually learn to listen and recognize His voice within, and to trust it when I do. I have to make the best decision I can, take His Name, then let it go and not worry. And I have to trust that there is, as Baba said to the women that day on the Hill, no such thing as a mistake - He made the decision long ago.

For me, this act of trust takes practice. And, as it's part of our journey from ego-centeredness to Baba centeredness, it is natural that we will grow in fits and starts as we slog our way through this maya-jungle world and back into His arms.